Derrrrrrrr, I am so stupid sometimes, can you get rid of asilblog for me didn't mean to make a new site. I was just being noisy wanted to play.

I will get bart to set up a new website for me called asil, was meaning to sign up here but realised I can do it for nothing with Barts company. Really sorry. Didn't mean to mess it up. You will have to send an invitation to yourself to be able to delete it but I suppose you already know that SO SORRY. BIG KISS xxx SORRY SORRY SORRY.

See everyone I told you she is not a figmant of my imagination I do have a friend on here, so there. Glad your back now, after a while it gets to you just writing and not getting any reply. Still glad you had a good time, yeah I have already had a sneak at your website only a quicky though as I have been doing alot of work for J lately so don't get much time to go on here at the moment.

Bart has gone to bed already I just can't go to bed to early because I know I will find it hard to go to sleep and just feel knackered in the morning not that I don't any way but thats besides the point. Why sleep when you can do something else. Didn't go in the pool tonight Bart had already put the chemicals in it so have to wait til tomorrow.

Must go have work for J to do.

Speak tomorrow. xxxx

PS. Are you finding it a bit slow on here when posting?

Well I have just finished my swim, one of my most favourite to do, love it love it love it. One of my other favourite things to do is reading but am finding it hard to do as the book always gets to wet when I am trying to swim at the same time. Left work early just so I could get an extra hour in the swimming pool. I give myself goals to aim for, like breathing properly for one thing, which I think I have got the hang of now and also seeing how long I can swim under water. I used to love swimming under water when I was a kid and I have just realised that I still love it just as much. Bart has to shout at me when its time to get out, I am just like a kid, I just love it so much. I am going to have a week off work soon and am going to spend the whole week swimming. I would like to be a strong enough swimmer for the Phoenix Fire Swim this year, I have got about 6 months to train. Each night I will work harder and harder to see how long I can swim for without stopping. I have managed about an hour so far, so only another 3 or 4 hours more and I'll be able to enter.

Oh bugger another night spent talking to myself Oh well, here goes.

I really felt like I have had a weekend away from work, then as I walked into work today I realised I hadn't had enough time off work, she had that squinty eye tight lip look today, oh well it is pay day on Thursday so it can only get worse wonder what face she will pull tomorrow can't wait misserable old bat fink.

Must go as I have got to do some more work for J tonight. See yah. xxx

Are you back from your hols yet or have you got another week to go can't remember if it was 2 or 3 weeks, well what ever it is I hope you really feel like you have had a holiday. Speak to you soon and hope to here from you soon. xxxx

Well I have a swimming pool yipee I couldn't wait for it finish filling up, just had to go in. Yeh it was a bit chilly but once I was in I didn't want to get out. I am just so excited and happy. Bart took some pictures of the pool at night with the outside lights on it looks so lovely can't wait to put the pics on my website which at the moment can't find any of my pictures of the garden because I have put them in another folder so have to sort it out first.

My message yet again is back to front, but hpefully still makes sense. Just hope you are having the best time ever. See you soon. Loads and loads of love to You, Rodney and last but not least Del have a great time. Big Hugs & Kisses xxxx

What a truely great friend you are my very best friend and even though I met you through work, I am so glad I worked there when you did or I would have missed out on a friend of a life time.

I told you J didn't like my logo designs, well I have done quite a few more for him it might take me a bit of time but I get there in the end I really like them and am finding it hard to choose which one I like best, so I have given all of them to him, there is about 8 or 9 different designs, put them through his door yesterday and am still waiting for that phone call. Still he has got alot on at the moment, so I guess I will give him until Tuesday and hopefully he will have phoned by then, if he hasn't I will think the worst and I guess, start again with some other inspiration (hope not, I have used up all my brain cells). I sometimes wonder if I am in the right job I always question myself about what I do, 'is it good enough, or am I just kidding myself, maybe I should go and work at Tesco's, less stress but also less money' oh what to do. I hate it when people don't like something I have designed for them, it makes me feel insecure, unwanted and in the wrong job. Very stupid of me I know but I can't help it, just the way it makes me feel. I put everything into what I do especially at home when I have the chance to be more creative. God don't I just go on and on and on. Sorry but even though I know your not there like on a telephone I feel like you are and am constantly waiting for you to answer.

I really hope you are enjoying your holiday, I would love to go to New York to see the buildings mostly sounds sad but I love tall buildings I find them amazing how they sway in the wind also I would love to drive along one of those roads in the middle of nowhere all you can see is hills not a car in sight, the Grand Caneon, Niagra Falls so much to see over there. Did I tell you that I have always wanted to go to Russia I am in great need to see those beautiful buildings. As you may have gathered I have a thing about buildings I find them so interesting, its all about detail even the small things that most people would miss have such great detail I love it. It probably has something to do with the work I do for J.

Any way how are you how ya doin was up, I must admit I am getting a bit bored of seeing my messages and not yours.

Well not much happening here I see. The pool man is coming on saturday at 8am (he's the man who fits the liner in) Yippee I am just so excited havent been this excited in ages. Its been quite warm here and every time I come home go into the garden I feel so hot that I could just jump into the pool right now but theres no water, Oh what a great feeling to be able to feel cool in a split second I just can't wait.

Also one of my other favourite past times is horse riding my sister is going to see one tomorrow which she hopes to buy and wants me to ride it great fun. So soon I should be as fit as a fiddle as they say.

Well I guess by your not writing you must be having fun, I know its been 5 days since I was here but thats not because of having fun just too much work and not enough hours in the day to get it done. Anyway the weather has decided to be british summer time again wonder how long it will before it changes back to winter. Next weekend we will have a real swimming pool, it takes about 2 days to fill it and we will have to wait until the water has been tested before we can go in.

Hope you are having a lovely time. see you soon. xxx

Well another day over and its still raining here this morning reminded me of winter, the wind was so strong and cold. Still they say it will get warmer tomorrow so just have to wait and see. Poor Bart has spent all day out side doing the garden in the rain, he's a good boy sometimes. Hopefully in two weeks Pimple will be moving out here, so that should be good just in time for my swimming pool. Can't think of much else to say, nothing exciting has happened. So I wont bore you any longer. See Ya. xx

PS hope your having lots of fun.

I can't think of anything you could get me just have a great time you deserve it. Haven't had chance to get on here before now been doing lots of workd for J which is good, he didn't like my logo design. So still having to think about that one, and at the moment nothing is happening I guess it's because I know how fussy he is and am probably trying too hard anyone else I would have done it by now. Still I know I will used my brain eventually. Anyway must go very sleepy feeling brain dead at the moment, its really great to hear from you. Speak to you tomorrow big kiss for you, Rodney and Del. Have a great time. xxxx

We have got a college student with us at the moment so bat fink has put her already ragged teachers hat on, god she's a bitch. Nothing makes her more happy than being a teacher again I find that very sad. Clammy Sammy has finally lost it totally, ask him if he wants tea or coffee and he'll say oh you decide.

I wondered why I hadn't heard from you didn't realise you'd gone already.The weather is crap crap crap guess what its raining for the first time in years ha ha ha. Decking will be done this weekend and the summer house and well the garden. Next weekend we fill the pool yipee, bet it will rain ;p still once the solar cover goes on I don't care how cold it is I'm goin in. Wow so your in the land of Disney wow wow wow. Say hello to daffy for me.

Well the weekend is over moody monday is only but a nights sleep away, can't wait. Oh what joy to work for such a happy go lucky boss if there is such a person, I don't know of them do you. She'll have her tight lip squinty eye head on I bet the squinty eye and try to lift the corner of your mouth up usually happens around wednesday thursday but not if its payday thursday then she just go back to the tight lip version which I must say she does so well.

Enough of that, it just helps to take a guess of how she'll be tomorrow should really take bets could win loads, very rare that I'm wrong. The only thing is no won would bet against me so every one would win. Oh well how has your weekend been, I have spent 2 beautiful days in the sun, its amaizing how good it makes me feel, I actually feel that I have had a few days off and well its supposed to rain tomorrow so I don't care that I have got to go to work.

Any way not long now and you'll be off on holiday, have a great time you deserve it. Speak later see ya. xxx

Well decking is nearly finished, got sun burnt today my shoulders are burning, hope its as nice tomorrow. When its all finished I will be out in the garden every possible minute of every day. I am really looking forward to it. Have to go now got to get up early in the morning. speak again tomorrow. xxx

Glad to hear it wasn't just me with the problem. I am going to see J tomorrow with my logo designs, I am so scared that he wont like them, he can be a bit blunt when he wants to be, such as its crap springs to mind, I am not looking forward to it.

We have got the kids again this weekend which is a bit of a pain as I wont to be able to get on with the decking and when they are here its always me who has to stop what I am doing to go and see to them. Not that I mind its nice to feel wanted but not every five minutes. And now they have got to know all the other kids its not just Barts 2 any more its everyone elses as well, they just have to have a look at what we're doing and ask questions constantly, sometimes wish I could hide when I see them coming, he he he.

Speak tomorrow, glad your back. See Ya. xxx

How are you anyway, haven't heard from you wonder if you are having problems like I am with site. It keeps trying to send the same message twice and sometimes not at all. Oh well must go need to cook dinner. Hope Rodders and Del are OK. Speak later, see ya. xxx

Stan has not been himself lately, he will not leave my side, I wonder if another cat has got to him. He is loosing alot of fur at the moment which does not help the way he looks at the moment, ever that or he has been taking drugs, if he were human you would think that. Well if he is not better by the end of the week I guess another vet bill will be in order, not that I care he is my cat-dog so much like a dog, in the way he greats me when I come home and he is so affectionate I don't know what I would do without him, he's my baby, the only one I'll ever have anyway. Speach to you tomorrow Love from me. xxx

My message is all back to front, I have had a few problems with this site, it dosn't like long messages. So now you will have four including this one, sorry but computers and so called technology stink today and yesterday. Hope you had a good weekend, see ya. xxx

Enough of that, I have managed to make grippa blink its a mouse over thing but a great achievement for me. So good job Bart was in bed all day Saturday or I would have never have got there. You wont be able to see it yet as it is not linked to the website and I am going to change (yet again) the website but I will get there soon. I have done a drawing of the garden as it will look when it is finished so that has to be on before I can show the actual finished garden plus I have done one of the kitchen and the front garden, so it will be good to see if the finished thing actually resembles anything like my drawings.

I must say sorry for the long letter writting but it is good to know that soon you will be reading this. I just can't help it all the things that pop up in my head each day, and within a matter of hours or a day, you can read it, it's great to have a friend, no it's great to have a special friend like you who I can spend my thoughts of the day with. Thank you for being so WONDERFUL, I will come down and see you soon, probably after your holiday so you can tell me all about it.

Love ya lots. xxx

My mum came round yesterday, she is just so sweet, we have seen a really nice waterfal and she wants to buy it for us, also as usuall always thinking of the kids, she bought Jordan and Luke a bottle of bubble bath, which they can't be without when they have a bath, also if the kids are here Dave will always have something chocolatey in his pocket for them. It's just a shame that they don't see them as grandparents. My mum has been going to drawing and painting classes, she has always had the talent for art but until now not really done that much drawing but she really is amaising with her hands being so disfigured because of rhumatism (not sure how to spell that) my mum will paint and draw for hours and they are just best. Me and my sister want to try and sell her paintings for her. There are quite a few art gallerys around so at some point we are going to get my mums paintings in an exhibition. They really are so good, I am so proud of her, each painting costs her so much pain yet she will carry on until it is finished. My mum is truely wonderful and so is Dave, he has to put up with alot from her as you can imagine, but even though he knows what she will be like while she is painting, as long as she is happy to achieve her goal Dave will always put up with her pain and agony. It takes alot out of her upto 3-4 days worth of pain after 4 hour stint of painting, I admire that.

Bart never got up on Saturday well not until 6.30 because we needed to go to DIY to get some more bits for Sunday. I did manage to do a few things on Saturday though, I painted all the frame work for the decking, washed my car and did another load of ironing. So it wasn't too bad.

Yesterday didn't stop work until 8.00pm which was good and now the morning after has kicked in and I ache all over, was bending down most of yesterday. I am at the moment waiting for Bart to guess what 'get up'. I can't stay in bed for long not on the weekends I what to make the most of them as they never seem to last that long before your back to work again.

Did nobody see Francenstein, I agree with you it is bad enough that they do it to animals but not humans. Its a shame that so many people are such bad news for the rest of us, excuse me we live in this world too you know.

see you later xxx

Well typical its a nice day and where is Bart, still in bed with a hangover. I sent him to the pub last night because I have to be on my own when I am in cleaning mode. Should have let him stay here, he would have been up before now and working outside. I can't do anything out there by myself so I guess another day wasted. Still I only have myself to blame for sending him out in the first place.

I have been doing more on my website you wont be able to see it yet though I haven't linked it to the front page.

Oh well gonna carry on playing. See ya xxx

Hope your feelling better today. I still have a sore throat but nothing else yet, so fingers crossed it wont come to anything. So glad I have got 3 days off I've spent the last 5 hours cleaning the house and ironing. There has to be a way to make clothes so they never need to be ironed, I hate it.

Any way I expect you are out tonight, sometimes I wonder if Bart is the right person for me. We never go out, well unless we have been invited out by someone else. I don't know I just hate work and want someone to look after me for a change, not so I could leave my job but just knowing that I don't really have to do it if I don't wont to would be nice.

I have the big black cloud over this time just feeling down as usuall and find it hard to see the colour through the greyness. I am not sure what I want and the sad thing is I think I will always feel like this, just wish life could be how I want it even though I don't know what I want. I wish I was more outgoing, I wish I wasn't quite so shy, I wish I wasn't so parranoid, I wish I could make decisions and stick by them, wish I didn't feel so issolated, just wish I could be someone else. Well as they say you can wish all you want but it wont happen unless you make it happen.

Geoff was such a bad thing I really wish I had never met him, he made me believe he was the one and as you know he wasn't, just another person in a very long list of them, making promises and never keeping them. I am just so fed up at the moment can't see the wood through the trees. See ya later.xxx

I don't feel so good myself at the moment, getting a sore throat, typical just before the weekend.

If the weather is ok (not raining) I'll be out in the garden helping Bart with the decking. I have decided on what type of front door I want, its strange in a modern but unique way, and I have never seen a front door like it well only the one in the book where I saw it. Also did I tell you that I wanted a spirel staircase so the hall way will be bigger, well I've also seen the staircase I want as well no its not spirel :o( Bart wouldn't let me have that and even if I could have it I wouldn't wont it, not now I've seen this one I can't explain it so I will have to email you the pictures. I know the stairs wont happen this year but the front door hopefully will. I know Bart will try and talk me out of the staircase but I will get my own way eventually, I will, I will, I will.

Sorry you are still feeling like shit at the moment but better to have it now than while your on holiday.

A strange thing this morning Acid Annie phoned pimple and said that we could park the car at work, I was so sure that she only said that because she would want one of us to go out on a delivery for her but no. I can't quite get to grips with her when she is being nice I always think there is another reason behind it.

Anyway better go Stan is driving me mad he's playing with the clothes horse at the moment, trying to get my attention. Better go Bart ran me bath half an hour ago, I do get carried away on this thing. Speak tomorrow. xxx

I still have lots to do on the website like the plan I have drawn up for the garden. Its still so far away from what I want it to look like, but am getting the hang of html a bit more now. I find it easier to write the code than to use a programme at the moment because I am just too nosey I need to know the code for everything and then I will be happy. Have been designing another logo for J and as always, I am finding it hard to let it go to show him what I have come up with just in case he dosn't like it, all I know about this new logo is its to do with property so typical J always very helpful. So I will eventually pluck up the courage and put in in his letterbox and turn my phone off, as the saying goes no news is good news.

Anyway got to go now and work speak to you tomorrow.

PS I wasn't able to get on last night, the server was down but Bart is sorting it out so shouldn't happen any more, well thats when he has sorted it. So if I can I will speak to you tomorrow.

Love and Hugs, hope your cold gets better before you go away, I would have thought so. Buy :o)